remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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