is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
