Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize