Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When are your genitals available?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
