It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
