Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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