i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
