my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
