Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
