Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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