my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
