Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
