I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
