Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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