I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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