it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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