Me. At least after what I've been through.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
