oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
