I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
