So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
