I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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