Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
