this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
