Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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