When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
