I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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