Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize