We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
