I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
