Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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