how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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