Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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