That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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