I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
