just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
