SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
