I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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