he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Apparently you make a good broom.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
