Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
