He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
