after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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