My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
