I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
