I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
