Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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