All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
