I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
