I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
