I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
