Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize