nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
