I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
