But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
