I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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