everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
