First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
