Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We need to rekindle our bromance
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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