textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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