Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
