im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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