I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
