I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
