Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
